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Of
course, little Miss
Co-dependant here,
blamed myself. And in
all honesty, I know what
I did wrong and what I
could have done better
and what things were out
of my control, that I
could do nothing about.
But I can not change the
demons that are haunting
him, nor could I change
the fact that he is an
alcoholic and will do
what he feels is what he
needs to do.
I can't change the
fact that he feels he
wants to go back to the
way he was when I met
him, living above a
hotel in a dumpy room,
drunk all the time,
without a dime to his
name. After all, anyone
who can spend $5,000 in
less than a month
(twice), will have
nothing. He feels that
he doesn't have a life
with me here in our
home, a home he feels
that he shouldn't have
to look after on his
holidays!! A home, that
at one time, was very
proud of and was
happiest when he was
puttering around in the
yard. Or so we all
thought!!!
Boy, were we wrong!!
Every one that we know
did say to me that they
couldn't believe after
everything we had been
through, he would just
walk out and leave
everything behind, that
he was already seeing
someone else, albeit, a
very dumb, money hungry,
stupid broad!! ( I met
her so I know first hand
what she is like) They
don't believe that he
means what he is saying
to me, all the nasty,
dirty, cruel things he
has been saying to me
and about me. We all
can't believe all the
lies and stories that he
has been telling!!
Bottom line is, he is
an alcoholic(but was dry
for over five years)
and they are very good
at lying, cheating,
stealing, and spending
everything till they are
broke. That is what they
do best. He has done
this twice to me since
January/03 but this time
was the worst. He is
just on a mission and he
is being very cruel and
nasty, but expects to
not have to answer for
anything he has
done or said. Well,
excuse me, but I think
we all have to be
accountable for our
words and actions. I
know I have been.
So time has gone by
and he is still very
cold to talk to and
still very nasty and he
is sober!!! So I stopped
believing he didn't mean
what he was saying and I
had to finally
acknowledge that it was
over. I could not take
anymore abuse, I could
not cry anymore, wasting
tears on someone who
doesn't give a crap,
someone who is on a
death mission and
someone who has trashed
all that was good in
your life together and
someone who blames you
for everything including
things that are out of
your hands, things that
can't be helped. Someone
who picks on the things
about yourself that hurt
to be mentioned.
Continued on next
page.................
 
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